Dressing Hilda
by Kitake Neru
Summary: Somewhat crack. Misaki notices Hilda doesn't have suitable attire for the school trip so guess who has to help her buy new clothes? Tatsugarde.


Standard disclaimer applies.

A/N: I found a name that actually sounds better than OgaHilda – Tatsugarde! So I'll be using it *giggle*.

This fic is set right before the Okinawa Arc. I don't know whether it's three or four days so please forgive the innacuracy. This is somewhat crack, Because I want to put Oga in an uncomfortable situation, fufufufu~

* * *

**Dressing Hilda**

**Tatsugarde Fanfic**

"A class trip?"

Tatsumi blinked in the middle of slurping his noodles. His older sister Misaki had stood up, palms pressed urgently on the tabletop. "How many days?" She demanded and Tatsumi finished slurping the noodles before answering "Four days?"

"Four – " Misaki looked like she was asphyxiating. Casting a glance at Hilda, who was sitting in the living room with Baby Belze, she sighed. Without another word she grabbed him by the collar, wrenched him out of the chair and dragged him out to the hallway – but Tatsumi still managed to finish another mouthful. "What's the big idea?" He grumbled when they were out of hearing range of the living room. She poked his chest (which hurt) and hissed; "How do you expect to bring Hilda on a four-day trip without proper clothes?"

"She has proper clothes," Tatsumi blinked, thinking of Hilda's not-so-modest daily attire. "What's wrong with her dress?"

"As attached to Macao as she is, you can't expect her to be dressed in gothic-lolita dresses in Okinawa! She's going to the beach, for gods' sake!" Misaki slapped her forehead at her little brother's denseness. "Look, I know you're broke, but that doesn't mean Hilda can't have nice stuff. So," Misaki fished around her person and withdrew some money, slapping it into Tatsumi's palm. "Go shopping with her. Pick up some stuff. For Okinawa weather, mind you," She stressed before stalking off in a huff.

Tatsumi blinked at what just happened. Hilda appeared, looking suspicious. "What is going on?"

Tatsumi scratched his head, looked at the money and then looked at Hilda. The demon nursemaid looked back dispassionately. "Have you lost your voice, fool?"

"Ah, well…" Tatsumi sighed. "Come on Hilda. We need to get you stuff."

* * *

Hilda looked around the department store with one hand on her hip. Row upon rows of clothes on racks and in large baskets awaited her attention. "Why are we here, Tatsumi?"

"… Sis told you to pick up some clothes," Tatsumi balanced Baby Belze on his head. The royal demon crowed in delight at his high perch, patting his head. "For the beach, she said," He quickly added before Hilda went and bought more Lolita dresses.

"Clothes?" Hilda arched an eyebrow. "Whatever for?"

He gave her a '_duuh, dumbass_' look. "The school trip."

She pondered this before asking; "And what do you expect me to wear on this school trip?"

"Geez, I dunno." Tatsumi's discomfort was growing by the second. "Maybe something like that mannequin there," He gestured to a doll in summer clothing. "I'm gonna sit here with Baby Belze, aight? Just pick up a few so we can get out of here."

"… I will never understand your human customs," Hilda sighed as she wandered off.

Tatsumi forgot about Hilda for awhile as he entertained Baby Belze's antics. Presently though he heard the clacking of her heels and he looked up – and froze.

Hilda was standing there in a skimpy light green bikini, the cut emphasizing her already generous bust in a way that was very hard to ignore – and considering he saw her pretty much 24 hours a day, that was _bad_. Her standing there with arms akimbo did not help soften the impact one bit. The knee-high laced-up boots made him think strange thoughts, as he wondered why he never noticed how very… dangerous she looked in them. The kind of dangerous that made his stomach clench... not unpleasantly.

"That girl," She carelessly waved to a sales assistant; "Insists I buy this for 'the beach'. I told her this is not my color," She picked at the bikini strap, causing Tatsumi's hair to stand on end. "Don't!" He bit out and she blinked unconcernedly at him. "I know. But the black one isn't on sale, Tatsumi."

"NO!" He forced himself to close his eyes, palming his temple. "No black. Bikini, I mean."

"Excuse me sir," The sales assistant stepped up, smiling. "Would you like a one-piece for your wife instead? We have some very nice swimwear on discount – "

"No. Swimwear. No." Tatsumi ground out, feeling his blood pressure rise. "Look, swimwear is not part of the list. Just – " He got up and found some long-sleeved jumpers on a rack. With an expert eye he plucked out two and threw them towards Hilda, and then a pair of short-shorts. Those were followed by a light summer blouse and skirt, and by the time he was done Hilda was staggering under a small pile of clothes. "Try them on," He muttered before resuming his seat, but this time kept an eye on the dressing room door.

Misaki looked up to see the pseudo-family return. "Welcome back!" She cheerfully greeted them. "Got anything good?"

* * *

"We went clothes shopping," Hilda watched Tatsumi stalk off to his room. "But it seems he is not very fond of them."

"Orly?" Misaki grinned. "Got a bikini?"

"Actually that was what Tatsumi was not very fond of."

Upstairs, he could hear Misaki's howls of laughter and Tatsumi's scowl deepened.

But he was glad he had stopped Hilda from buying that bikini. God knows how he'd survive the trip with her in _that_.

* * *

**Omake**

"Hmm," Hilda surveyed her reflection in the mirror. She had worn the clothes Tatsumi had picked out for her; a long-sleeved jumper and a pair of short-shorts. But he had missed her size, so the shorts were… _really_ short. "I wonder why he objects to the bikini but picks _this_ out for me?" She muttered crossly. "Well if I wear it he can't complain, can he?"


End file.
